


Earth Boys Are Easy

by akatonbo



Category: Shinesman
Genre: Crack, Even Total Parody Mpreg, For Very Loose Definitions of Canon, Humor, I Still Can't Believe I Wrote Mpreg, M/M, Manga Canon, Mpreg, Really a Lot of Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-02-11
Updated: 2001-02-11
Packaged: 2017-12-16 05:42:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akatonbo/pseuds/akatonbo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sekito notices that Matsumoto hasn't been feeling well lately...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Earth Boys Are Easy

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in "parody time", since there's no real time period during the manga that it could have occurred. (Thank goodness.) I have never seen the movie Earth Girls Are Easy; it was just a funny title. This story began with the punchline, which popped into my head while I was walking to lunch one day and demanded to be used.
> 
> (Also, while this story is based on the manga, it's so silly that all anime viewers really need to know is that, in the manga, there is no Princess Shiina. Matsumoto flew over a beach while Sasaki was swimming and saw him in his swim trunks instead. Yes, really.)

Matsumoto Hiroya looked decidedly green this morning, Sekito thought. The usual team from Right Trading was visiting the offices of Science Electric on a weekly basis for their latest project, and this was the third week in a row that Matsumoto was feeling under the weather. Even Alec-ouji -- Morikawa, Sekito reminded himself -- had commented on it this time, giving Sekito a cryptic look before leaving the meeting in Sekito's hands.

When this meeting, as the last two had been, was interrupted by Matsumoto-kun hurriedly excusing himself and dashing out of the room, while Hayami-san and Yamadera-san exchanged worried glances, Sekito realized what Morikawa had meant.

A few minutes later he returned, looking more pale than green now. Sekito offered him a glass of water, which he accepted gratefully.

"Anou, Matsumoto-kun... how long have you been ill?"

Matsumoto took a sip of the water, swallowed, and replied, "It's nothing serious. Just on and off for a few weeks." Sip. Swallow. Sip.

"Have you considered the possibility that you might be pregnant?"

Matsumoto sprayed water. Since he was speechless, it was Yamadera who spluttered, "How could he be pregnant? He's a man!" while Hayami grew a sizeable sweatdrop.

Sekito blinked. "Earth men don't get pregnant?" Earthlings really were strange people.

"Are you telling me that men from Voice /do/?" Yamadera again; Matsumoto was still recovering, it seemed.

"Of course they do." Sekito paused for a beat, then added, "My apologies, Matsumoto-kun."

"Eheheh... don't worry about it." Matsumoto was looking better, at least, if somewhat wary of Sekito.

Sekito nodded reflexively, and was about to steer the conversation back to work, when something occurred to him. "I wonder if it'd be possible if you had..." Erk. Out loud.

Three inquiring gazes fixed on him, and Hayami finally broke the silence. "If he had what?"

Sekito laughed nervously. "Er... if you had... hadsexwithamanfromVoice."

Hayami grew another sweatdrop. Yamadera stared at him the way one might stare at a train wreck, looking like nothing so much as one of Ono-san's stuffed fish with his open mouth and bulging eyes.

"I mean, in theory, not Matsumoto-kun specifically," Sekito said quickly. "Anyway, since it's a moot point, let's get back to..." He trailed off as his gaze fell upon Matsumoto, who was absolutely white. "It /is/ a moot point, isn't it?" He was going to get himself in trouble and ruin the deal if he didn't keep his mouth shut.

All of the blood returned abruptly to Matsumoto's face. "SEKI-SAN!" he protested indignantly, then he slumped in his chair. "I don't want to talk about it." Hayami's sweatdrop was now large enough to obscure his head, and Yamadera's train wreck gaze had shifted to Matsumoto.

Sekito was beginning to get a Titanic-sized sinking feeling. "Tell me it wasn't Hope-ouji."

Matsumoto's eyes widened, but he was already too red-faced to blush any more as he blurted out, "He told me that seeing his bare skin meant he either had to love me or kill me! He said it was a royal law!" before ducking his head to avoid seeing the incredulous stares of his coworkers.

Sekito just shook his head, "And you believed him?"


End file.
